The essay I had been working on for today’s post will be postponed, as my day took a drastic turn for the worse, and I must report to you, loyal readers. Mama had to take me to the emergency pup hospital this afternoon. Don’t worry, friends, I will recover in a couple of days. Let me explain what happened…
Mama had a tennis match this morning, so I was home supervising my siblings for a couple of hours. As mentioned earlier this week, mama rearranged and fortified the panty again, after our last infiltration. She moved all edibles to the top shelves, which are chest-high, and above, to a human. I won’t bore you with all of the details, but, bottom line, I was able to persuade Wilbur to jump atop the clothes dryer and take a huge, (and literal), leap of faith.
Wilbur has no fear, and is adept at jumping and climbing. He says that if he were a human, he’d do parkour, which I think is far too dangerous and risky, even for one with his skills. But, getting back to our morning, Wilbur was able to pull down a plastic basket filled with dried goods. I ate, and ate, and ate. I consumed pasta, rice noodles (I feel them expanding as I write), sunflower seeds, chips, sugar, and a few unmentionables (pieces of plastic bags and part of a box).
I stuffed myself silly and left a huge, and incriminating, mess. Wilbur has the ability to stop eating when he’s had enough, but me, I don’t reach the “enough” stage until my stomach has distended to twice it’s normal size. This is the first time I’ve taken my eating addiction to this level, and now I am paying the price.
Mama took one look at me, and immediately rang our vet (shout-out to Blue Ravine Animal Hospital). When mama explained what had happened, they told her to get me in, immediately. My actions can cause canine bloat , which is the second leading killer of dogs, after cancer. And, the bloat can turn deadly within an hour, so time is of the essence.
After a round of x-rays, and some humiliating probing (and breaking mama’s bank!), the doc thinks I’ll be fine in a couple of days. I’m in pain, and no doubt, it’s a lesson I needed to learn. Dear readers, do not blame my mama. She feels horrible, and she never could have guessed the depths of my addiction, and lengths I’ll go through to feed my habit.
I am ready to admit to the universe, that I have a problem, and I think an intervention may be in order. Please keep me in your thoughts, friends… I’m feel like merde tonight...